Checking out

The amazing dog Hakunica took her last walk almost a year ago now, in May of 2020. She was stiff and sore, still joyful and absolutely up for her days, but in a great deal of pain and unable to walk easily or reliably any more. We had learned the landscape of NE Scotland with her powerful legs, wooly coat, keen nose and flexed ears, but by her 15th year she was profoundly deaf and unsure of her senses. Our daily walks had to be on a lead as she was feart of being away from the touch of someone whom she trusted. Sometimes her sore legs betrayed her and she would fall, legs askew, crying for someone to help her up.

She had done the very best job of being the very best dog to a complex family that any dog has ever done, and it was time to thank her and let her find her next birth. Our veterinarian worked with us to give her a calm, painless, peaceful death, even though the horrors of the pandemic lockdown meant that I had to hand her over at a distance through the vestibule of the surgery. We found or adapted rituals to say goodbye, and to assure her of a good transition—it was easy to imagine her perking up as her fallible, broken senses dropped away and she encountered a purer awareness in the intermediate states. By the 42nd day we were sure she had found a marvellous new family.

Here are some photographs of her. Hakunica and I walked almost every day along the beach north of Donmouth, and over the years we found a remarkable range of things. After 2016, I began to notice shopping trolleys, so many of the later photographs are of her, or her implied presence, getting older as we find rusting shopping trolleys emerging from the shifting estuary sands.